16 THINGS TO DO AT WALL MART
by Isame Kuroda
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin.


**A/N: Do not think about this too hard. Just laugh while you still can.**

**SIXTEEN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART**

_**1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they are not looking.**_

''Kurosaki, what is the meaning of this?''

''huh? What, I—Ishida I swear, I did not put it there, it not mine! I—''

Uryuu grab Ichigo by his collar, and drag him off to only Sosuke Aizen know where.

_**2. set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.**_

Touya sigh in relief as he turn off the last of the alarms clock. ''Okay, all do—''

The alarm clocks scream at once like a pack of banshee. Touya jumps and hit his head on the ceiling.

Oh, the joy of shinigami power...

Mogura laugh his head out.

''_Shut up!''_

_**3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.**_

Tomoyo let out dreamy sigh. Her camera locks at Sakura in Sherlock Holmes-esque costume like a hawk. ''I am so happy~! I could record Sakura-chan as she solve one of the Wall Mart 16 mysteries~!''

Sakura blush as red as pineapple. ''Hoe! Tomoyo-chan!''

Karin stares at the two incredulously.

''_What the heck—?''_

_**4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,  
" 'Code 3' in house wares"... and see what happens.**_

Mogura yawn widely, shifting his big head comfortably on the grass. _Ah, finally, a break, I am really getting tired of all those noises._

Touya scowl at the lazy dragon, causing a few customers scurried away from his path. _''you are not the one who had to deal with all of that.''_

Mogura just chuckle. _I wonder who is behind all the chaos here._

Touya shrug and take turn at the corner. _''Whoever it is, I am going to—''_

The substitute shinigami-rookie shriek like fire alarms, before quickly turning away from the scene, his face redder than certain a lieutenant does, which mirror by his senior and the last Quincy.

''For crying aloud you two, do it somewhere else!''

''Sorry''

''_ugh, I need brain bleach.''_

_So am I…_

_**5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.**_

''hey, Orihime''

''Yes, Tatsuki-chan''

''whose this belong to?''

''oh, a girl with brown hair ask to put it there. She also gave me sweet potatoes, sausage and red bean sandwich, do you want some Tatsuki-chan?''

''no, thank you, I am not hungry.''

_**6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.**_

''Yue, please be careful there.''

''big brother you are worrying too much. The carpet is dry''

''The sign is there for a reason. You have to be cautious still.''

Yue smile assuring-ly at his older twin. ''it will be okay brother.''

A sigh ''if you say so''

Yue look down and smile at the little girl beside him. ''come on Rose, let us go get your mommy and daddy their wedding gift.''

The guardian of the moon stares at the two double ganger of himself, and then at the half-eaten brownies on his hand.

_**7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you will invite them in if they will bring pillows from the bedding department.**_

Touya grit his teeth, sweat dripping down his temple as he flesh step after the bunny suit-wearing midget.

''Kuchiki-san, please return those pillows!''

''No! Chappie is MINE!''

_**8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,  
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"**_

''We are just doing our job sir.''

_**9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.**_

A man with a bucket hat and a boy with dark blue hair and glasses stare at the screen before looking at each other, and share an identical smile.

_**10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.**_

Orihime smiles brightly. ''it is down the hall sir, here let me show you.''

_**11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme**_

''The rabbit's foot is that way sir.''

_**12. in the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.**_

''So unbeautiful''

_**13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,  
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"**_

''Fish cake! They are following me!''

_**14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the foetal position and scream...  
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"**_

''Yes, they are talking to you.''

''and so do we.''

_**15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!**_

Ichigo and Uryuu stare at each other.

''Let us go somewhere else.''

''Good idea''

_**16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting, "Pikachu, I choose you!"**_

''CHAPPIE!''

**The End**

**Disclaimer: Wall Mart, Bleach and Card Captor Sakura, are belonging to its respective creators. Any element that you did not recognise may or may not belong to my friends and/or I.**

**Thank you very much for reading! *bow gratefully***


End file.
